did you get it?

so there comes a time in a relationship (be it with a parent, sibling, partner, friend, or otherwise) when you must realize your differences, and accept them. i don't mean telling yourself, heh, we're different, it's all good (and secretly thinking/hoping that your differences will go away), but actually believing/knowing/trusting that those differences are unique elements of your relationship, and while not always simple, do add color to what may otherwise be a monotone existence. so one of these things that i am learning to deal with while being miles away from home, separated by hours on the clock and water in the oceans, is the compulsiveness of others dear to me to read emails, and more specifically, my emails. now i know my 'dear people' love me, miss me, and get excited to hear from me when today's modern technology connects us, but i am learning to accept that not everyone can find the refresh button on their hotmail page (or, for that matter, the send/receive button on their outlook page) standing on their head with their eyes closed... and nor do they care to?! the logical side of my brain congratulates them... that they are able to maintain a feeling of closeness simply with the warmth in their heart, the not-so-distant memories of us being together, and the excitement of soon being together again. i am not that person. i do not congratulate myself for looking forward to seeing the (5) beside 'inbox' (see it has to be >3 because i regularly get 3 junkmails overnight, every night) in my hotmail account, but that is my reality. i treasure words, hand written, spoken, sang, typed, texted... words. and i similarly smile at the thought of my words bringing warmth to the days of the people i am not able to see/touch/smell on a daily basis. and so i am learning... albeit slowly at times... that my world is not halted by a delay in electronic communication, nor shall it be stalled with the unknown... did they get it? did they read it? did it make them smile? how about laugh? i can be settled simply knowing that i have sent them my energy, my thought, and words that they at one point will receive... or not. it is their choice to receive this energy, but my job is done once i have sent it...